So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
