i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
