Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
