Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
