He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
