sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm lost and stupid without you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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