i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
