I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
