My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
