On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
