Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
