i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
