I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
