He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
