His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
