I need help removing her.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
