Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
