This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
