Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
