why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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