No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
