My nipple is on Facebook.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
