Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
