Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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