Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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