i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
