corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
