I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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