i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
