I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
