i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
