those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
