i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
