Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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