i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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