I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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