Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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