I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
