Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
