sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
