Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
