Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
