Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
