if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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