Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish i was in the wii world.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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