she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize