Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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