Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
