OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
cat food counts as protein by the way
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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