hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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