i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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