I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
