I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
